MAKE IT WORK!

It’s official; as of today my wife (Marilyn) and I have been married for 41 years. When Marilyn shared that fact with someone recently their comment was: ‘to the same person?’ Surprising isn’t it? It’s sad to know that those who have been married that long are becoming less and less.

In our services we have been on the subject of ‘relationships.’ We’re not there yet, but we’ll be getting to our relationship in marriage. I can tell you, to have a proper relationship in a marriage takes commitment and a lot of work. Far too many walk away because things seem tough and they’re convinced the only way out is to split. We were having lunch together at a local restaurant and mentioned to the waitress that it had been 41 years. This was mentioned, in part, because she had just recently become newly-wed. She congratulated us and then asked the question many ask if you make it as long as we have, ‘what’s the secret?’ A great answer is ‘marry your best friend.’ But, that’s not the real answer nor was that the answer given her. Marilyn spoke up to say, ‘give your marriage to the Lord.’ Like most, I suppose, when I made those wedding vows I had every intention of keeping them. I went into our marriage with the mindset that this was forever. However, by the time our third anniversary came around I knew I was not going to celebrate my fifth year with this same woman. I was destined to become a marriage failure statistic. The answer came when we gave our lives to the Lord. He healed our marriage. From that time forward, I can honestly say the idea of sharing my life with anyone else never crossed my mind. It’s not that every problem disappeared, they didn’t. However, from that time forward I always knew we could somehow work through whatever came our way.

I thought I knew what it was to love someone when we were married, and to the extent that I was capable of knowing, I did. But, it isn’t until you have faced the trials, the disappointments, the challenges, and the differences that you really learn to love someone. Today I know what it means to love someone. And next year I think I’ll even know more than I do today. But for many years now, by the grace of God I can say, ‘I’m truly married to my best friend.’ To those facing challenges in their marriages I try to get across the idea that if they will work through the tough times it will be worth it. To their loss, some don’t listen. I don’t try to hide the fact that Marilyn has always given more than I have to make our marriage work. But today, because of the sacrifices we have made, I’d rather spend time with my wonderful wife than any other person on earth. Listen to me, it’s worth the effort to make it work.