WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HONOR?

I know there are a lot of honest people around us. I also know that the crooks among us are in the minority. We just heard recently in the news about the restaurant that has erased all of the prices from its menu. People can select their hamburger and fries with a large soft drink and pay what they think is fair. It seems to be working in the short run. I guess it’s yet to be seen whether this will work indefinitely. Many of us have stopped at roadside stands where farmers will have their fruits and vegetables available for anyone to stop and help themselves. They will have the corn, or cucumbers, or strawberries marked at a certain price and a basket trusting most people will be aboveboard in their dealings. And clearly most are. Still, many are the contracts that are signed and if found not to be to our liking we immediately start looking for the loopholes. So where am I headed in all of this? I’m really not out to prove one way or the other how we treat our fellow man. However, I am concerned about how we treat our commitments to God. And in particular I’m speaking of marriage commitments. We are living in a society that sees little value in marriage itself. The Advice Columns are filled with “the guy I’m living with has changed his mind and doesn’t want to get married now. What should I do?” The advice usually given is something like this. “Honey, he’s not ready for a commitment so if you’re looking for that start looking for another.” There is never advice given to hold yourself sexually until marriage. Instead, it’s go find another ‘live-in’ partner and see how that one works out. By the time things are done who knows how many sex –partners will be involved?

Sadly, this idea of how little value marriage has is spilling over into the church. From the pulpit we may condemn the ‘live-in’ relationship, or any form of sexual relationship prior to marriage. That is the proper thing to do. So I wonder, how many who call themselves Christians are taking that plunge into marriage for sake of not being condemned while at the same time not having any real conviction toward a marriage commitment that really holds to the words, “for better or worse?” I once heard a young single fellow say he would never put up with a bad marriage. His statement was, “At the first sign of trouble, I’m outta’ there.” I thought to myself, he’s doomed before he begins. That’s the world’s thinking, but I can’t be the only one seeing far too many Christian couples running into challenges in their marriages and applying the world’s philosophy of just jumping ship. That’s not to say they don’t go through the counseling routine. They usually do that so they can say, “we tried but it just didn’t work out.” I agree totally with a friend of mind who recently wrote something along this line, “Most people have their minds made up before they come to see the counselor.” Not only do I agree with that, but too often I find myself thinking, they already have the new Mr. X or Miss X in mind.

I guess this brings me to my point. In counseling with couples prior to marriage, I always stress – “you are making a vow to God. God expects you to keep your vows.” Scripture makes this clear. “When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.” Ecclesiastes 5:4. He goes on to say, “It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin.” Verse 5,6a. Further on in verse six the Word says, “Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands?” Because of this, during the marriage ceremony I again stress the fact that they are making their vows to God. Yet, when troubles come no one seems to remember the vows they’ve made. Or is that the world has made it so easy to walk away that whatever was said before God no longer matters? God is irrelevant. What I can’t help but think of is that many of these same people, if you were to ask them about their word, would use the old adage, “my word is my bond.” They would want us to know that if they made a promise, they intend to keep it. Come to think of it, maybe it’s not just the wedding vows that are being abandoned in the life of believers. What was that other commitment that was made that no longer seems to matter?